What To Do If Your Child Is Unhappy In School*

Where has that summer holiday gone? I can’t believe it’s already been over 6 weeks since we waved goodbye to school and tomorrow we’ll be stepping back into the yard for another year.

This is the first time ever LM isn’t looking forward to going back. She’s always been so excited for the first day of term, parading around in her new school shoes, packing her bag 2 weeks too early. But this year, we’ve had none of that. In fact we’ve had a string of teary bedtimes and complaints of “what if I get a tummy ache?” which is a classic symptom of nerves in a child. Because she’s worrying, I’m worrying and that means I’ve been Googling (thank goodness for my good friend Google) if you child isn’t happy at school. I’ve come up with some great coping tips for both parent and child and I want to share my take away from what I discovered.

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Explain the Importance of Communication
If you child isn’t happy at school (and you’ll know yourself by their behaviour) explain to them the importance of talking about it. Do this in a calm and reassuring manor. If your child thinks you’re going to be mad at them they won’t talk to you about it. Ask them what part of school is making them unhappy, their teacher? Their peers? The work? If you know what aspect you need to focus on together it’s easier than if they just tell you “school”.

If It’s Their Teacher
Ask them how their teacher makes them unhappy ask them in what way. A lot of it is often a misunderstanding between pupil and teacher and it can be solved by simply talking to the teacher at a parents evening or addressing the head teacher to make them aware. In bigger schools it may be possible to move your child into a different class as every teacher has a different teaching style and it could be your child just doesn’t cope well with how the lessons are presented. Be diplomatic but remember your child deserves to be in happy with school with a teacher who understands them.

If It’s Their Peers
If it is a bullying issue get as much information as you can and approach the school, no child should be made to feel unhappy by other children in attendance. Bullying needs nipped in the bud and the school needs to be aware there is an issue at school as often it can go unnoticed by the staff. Having been bullied myself as a child I know how damaging it can be and the knock of affects it can have to other aspects of school life.

If It’s The Work
Very few children are good at everything, but there are even less children who are good at nothing. If you child is struggling to cope with the work provided it may be worth looking at a school that offers more help in the areas they struggle in but nurture what they’re good at. Investing in a good school such as an independent school in Surrey might be worth your time and money as they have more resources than main stream school and your child will be treated as an individual rather than one in a large number. My daughter is artistically inclined so when she is ready to move on I’ll be choosing a school that has a better focus on the arts.

Time spend in school takes up a large chunk of your son or daughter’s childhood, you need to make sure they’re happy and thriving.