Three Things to Think About Before You Start Dating Again*

I decided to take 2020 and make it my year. What this means is I’m doing more things for me. I want to be more than just LM’s mum. I want to be my own person again. And part of that is braving the world of dating again. I seem to go through fads with this. I download a few apps, spend a few weeks on them, maybe have a date or two. Then something awful happens, like a guy is rude or stands me up and I delete them all again. The hassle is too much and I have enough on my plate without doubting my self worth over a guy. But this year, I want it to be different. I want a chance at a happily ever after. But every time I try again things happen that remind me that the dating world in your 30s is a mine field.

Thankfully, there are plenty of websites out there such as Love Merseyside Singles meaning you’re not short of places to try and find a perfect match.

Anyway, today I’m sharing 3 things i’d wish I’d thought about before I started dating again, in hopes that people have more success than I do;

Long Distance is a Big Commitment
After I had LM I moved home and I found out that nothing in this town had changed, including the men. So I thought I’d give long distance a shot. Spoiler, it didn’t end well. It was so hard. We both had busy lives and other commitments it ended up being a huge strain on our mental well being and after 9 months he called it a day. That was hard too. Now I’m much more mindful of distance. Adulting is hard enough without adding a 5/6 hour journey between you. If you live in the West, try a Merseyside dating site, if you live in Wales try a Cardiff dating site. When you have a bad day you’ll want to see your beau. You’ll want to spend weekends together and you’ll want to have date nights. Regional dating is key, but it doesn’t have to be just your own town if you live somewhere small like I do, just somewhere you can feasibly travel within a day. Love Cardiff Singles is perfect for anyone living in Wales or south west England.

Everyone Has Baggage
When you start out dating in your late teens/early 20s, most people have very little baggage. Especially in regards to relationship stuff. Most people are new to it. No one has been hurt or through a messy divorce or has kids. But when you’re dating in your 30s it’s a whole other ball game. A lot of people have mortgages with exes, or both parties have kids, and even if they they have none of that, they may just have baggage from feeling like they’re behind on all their milestones. You need to decide what baggage is compatible with yours. If you want someone to be accepting of your kids, you need to be accepting of the kind of baggage they’re carrying. It’s the hardest thing i’ve had to deal with this time around, being a single mother with a history of domestic abuse. I’m not the same sort of girlfriend this time around, and as understanding as I expect a future partner to be of my problems, I have to be prepared to be just as understanding with theirs.

Know What You Want and Don’t Settle for Less
Finally, you’re a grown up now (whether you want to be or not) you know what you want from a relationship. You know what works for you and your family. Stick to that. A partner won’t solve all your problems, it won’t fix you. You don’t need to be desperate. You deserve the best.

2020 is your year of love, good luck!