What to Do if Your Child is Having Friendship Problems*

I remember when LM first started school back in 2016, my biggest fear was her navigating friendship groups. In a way, it still is, but at least now I know LM is capable of making friends with pretty much anyone.

If I’m honest, I had the worst time with friends at school, and this continued right through University. I often wonder if I’m just not a likeable person, but then I remember the real reason is I’m a people pleaser and this always backfires. I’m in my 30s now and I have steady friendships, people I can rely on completed and I’m thankful for that. But it took a long time to get here and I really didn’t want that for LB.

We talk a lot about bullying, what to do if someone is picking on you or your friend and how to solve friendship problems. It doesn’t matter whether you attend a school in the UK or The British School of Malaga in Spain, children are always going to have disagreements and it’s important you talk to your son or daughter about how to navigate them without too many casualties.

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Try to Get Your Child to Open Up
I’ve always tried to teach the philosophy of “a problem shared is a problem halved” when it comes to LM. I want her to always feel like i’m there to listen and I will try and give her advice or help her solve it. Having a friendship issue at school is no different. She’s had a few over the last few years and at the moment she’s come to me every time. I know this might change as she gets older but I hope with instilling this from a young age she’ll still always talk to me rather than struggle on trying to fix it herself.

Encourage Them to Talk to the Child They’re Having Problems With
Communication is key but unfortunately a lot of children don’t want to talk out their problems. Girls can be to mean and boys just want to punch it out. I never wanted my kid to be either of those. If she has a problem with someone I want her to speak to them, not whisper to her friends and I hope she never makes anyone feel bad about themselves. I put a lot of stock in raising a good child who will grow up to be a good human.

Go to the School
And if that fails, go to the school. First LM knows to go to a teacher and talk about her problem. However, I know first hand that often schools don’t take children seriously and just see it as tattling. I know this first hand. So I’ve told LM I will be that mum that goes to the school herself. I know what bulling can do to your school experience first hand. Mine was horrible and I do not want that for LM. Be that parent who always has your kid’s back.

I hope LM continues to go through school enjoying the friendships she makes but at least I have a strategy in place in case things get too much and it’s one she’s aware of too.