Tales As Old As Time Afternoon Tea at The Kensington Hotel Review

On Monday 22nd May I took the train down to London to have afternoon tea with my best friend Bee. Not just any afternoon tea, because why would we go all the way to London for that? No, we went to have the almost famous Beauty and the Beast inspired afternoon tea at The Kensington Hotel.

The Tales as Old as Time afternoon tea is held in The Town House at The Kensington Hotel, it’s possibly the most coveted afternoon tea in the country at the moment and we were lucky to get a booking for May only the week before Bee’s birthday. I hear it’s now completely booked up until the 30th November! Beauty and the Beast happens to be Bee’s favourite Disney movie, and you know me, I just want to have Disney seep into every aspect of my life. Not only that we never really do anything without our kids so it was going to be a real treat to do something so sophisticated on our own. I’m happy to say I wasn’t disappointed, The Town House clearly put a lot of thought into this.

On arrival we were seated at a lovely corner table with comfy chairs, the menu already awaiting us. We both decided we wanted to go with the glass of champagne option and due to it being so hot I also asked for a glass of water. These were both presented to us promptly.

A side note on The Town House itself, it was beautiful. I could definitely get used to this afternoon tea malarkey. I didn’t feel like the atmosphere was stuffy in the slightest, I don’t know if that it’s because it’s Disney themed and would therefore appeal to a larger demographic than a regular tea but it felt comfortable. The staff were so much fun, happily making jokes and they clearly knew what they were talking about. Because the atmosphere was so relaxed I felt like I enjoyed it more than I could have. I totally forgot about a possible dress code and rocked up in a red skirt, sandals and a Beauty and the Beast tee but I don’t feel like this was frowned upon at all.

Anyway, back to the food (and drink of course). Firstly, we were served the savouries which consisted of bite sized venison pie, beef ragu & saffron arancini and the cheese soufflé. While putting the plate in front of us, the maître d even explained that these were there representation of that part in the song (as if we wouldn’t know, but it was a nice touch). While the pie wasn’t “en flambé” it was delicious, it was probably the savoury I was most worried about as I’m not a fan of venison, however it tasted great along with the arancini and the soufflé. The rose petals were a nice touch too.

After we’d finished our starters these were cleared to make way for the “main event” (this seems a pretty apt name for it). This included a selection of sandwiches & sweet brioche with a choice of chocolate or apricot preserve. Along with vanilla and gold jelly, a macaron, the infamous grey stuff served inside a Chip teacup and a chocolate tart with the face of Cogsworth. We were also given a choice of teas, Bee went for English breakfast, however I told the waiter to surprise me as I’m pretty good with flavoured teas these days. He brought out some Japanese rice tea, which was absolutely delicious and tasted just like popcorn.

The sandwiches were salmon, chicken & cranberry, egg & cress and cucumber & cream cheese. I liked two of those, and two I did not. The cream cheese & cucumber and the smoked salmon with creme fraiche were absolutely delicious. I loved how they were so typically afternoon tea with the crusts cut off. I cannot eat egg so I didn’t even touch that but I did make an effort to try the roast chicken and cranberry, however there were whole cranberries in it so after a bite I had to leave it. I did like how there were four different kinds meaning there would be something for everyone. I also really enjoyed the chocolate that went with the brioche baguettes. It was perfect for spreading or dipping.

Our waiter also poured cream from Mrs Potts into the the top of the vanilla and gold jelly. I’m not a fan of jelly but in the small glass with the rose petal it looked fantastic and was a really nice touch.

Although I didn’t try the jelly, I did try and enjoy everything else that was in our selection of desserts. My favourite (unsurprisingly) was the macaron which was slightly spiced and covered in coconut with a chocolate centre. It was perfectly chewy and made me want to go out to Laduree and throw a few tens on a box. I also really enjoyed the grey stuff! I’ve had the grey stuff in Be Our Guest and I really didn’t enjoy it. I could feel the sugar on my teeth afterwards and it just didn’t appeal, however I did enjoy this version which was served on top of some white chocolate mousse. The two went together perfectly (although Bee didn’t feel the grey stuff had enough taste on it’s own) and it really worked for me. I loved that it was served inside Chip as he was the perfect size. The Cogsworth clock was essentially a tart with a pastry outside and a ganache filling. The ganache was the real deal, incredibly dark, smooth with an almost fruity flavour. You couldn’t really find anything more decadent on an afternoon tea platter than a ganache tart. The detailing on the clock face was fantastic.

We were in just over an hour and throughout our stay the staff were incredibly attentive, I cannot fault them. Our bill came to just over £101 with the service charge (which we paid without complain due to the great service and attention to detailing). We did go for the Champagne option which adds £10 on per person but for us it was worth it.

I was a little sad that we didn’t get a Lumiere on our table as I assume they didn’t have enough of one per person. We also didn’t get out speculoos dress biscuit to take away which again was a little disappointing. I didn’t realise until I was on the train home and going through the hashtag on Instagram. Aside from those two small complaints I really had a great time. I really hope this Tale as Old as Time afternoon tea inspires more Disney themed food events because you can never have enough magic during these uncertain times. It was a pick me up we both needed.