Five Safety Tips for BDSM Beginners*

There is no denying this whole past year has been a complete write off. A lot of people have struggled and felt alone, and if that’s you, it’s natural you’re feeling eager to get back out there and maybe even try something new when it comes to dating. Whether it be a string of romances, dating around or even a new kink, for example, BDSM, the most important thing to keep in mind is staying safe, especially in a COVID world. Ensure you follow the guidelines that are set out to help keep you and others safe.

If you do decide to explore an exciting BDSM relationship, here are 5 ways you can keep yourself safe;

Start By Staying Anonymous

Remember, BDSM is a sexuality kink, and while there are also elements of relationships involved, it’s not what everyone going into it is looking for, to make sure you stay your safest, be mindful of this. If you’re using bdsm dating sites keep your information to yourself at first, talk to people and make sure you feel comfortable before sharing anything delicate.

Be Careful with Your Images

Unlike “vanilla” as it’s called in the BDSM community, dating, where you could be looking for a soulmate, a BDSM kink does carry a degree of stigma with it. Because if this, it’s more important than ever to protect your identity. While there is a genuine and respectful BDSM community, you can never be sure who you’re talking to as anyone can simply search find bdsm and make an account. So while on a regular dating website, a selfie is encouraged, when starting your BDSM journey, be sure to curate your profile and go with some discrete and tasteful images.

Talk First

In the age of modern technology there is no reason you shouldn’t be talking to people you meet through social media/websites/apps first. Use Skype, Facetime or even just an old fashioned phone call to hear and see if you can the person you’re planning on meeting up with. It’s so easy to hide behind a digital persona. BDSM hook ups can be a lot more high stake than just meeting for dinner.

Meet in Public (and Keep in Touch with Friends)

You don’t have to jump into bed the second you connect with someone and your BDSM preferences line up, especially if you’re new to this. Meet up in public and ensure you keep in touch with friends. A responsible dom will not object to either of these stipulations as they’ll care about your safety.

Talk Some More

Finally, talk some more. Both of you need to be aware what the other wants from this. One of you will be a dom and one will be a sub and you both need to be aware what that entails. Some experience doms have contracts that they expect their subs to read and sign, but it’s not unheard of for subs to have one too that ensures lines and their safety. Before going down this enjoyable route, ensure you are both on the same page.