Going Solo: Making Life As A Single Parent Easier*

When you decide to have a child, it’s rare to envisage yourself bringing them up by yourself. In the UK alone, there are two million single parents, meaning that a quarter of families with kids under the age of 18 are solo parent families. Bringing up your children on your own may not be what you imagined parenthood would be like, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t give your kids the best start in life. Your relationship status doesn’t have to impact your children in a negative way – studies show that kids being raised in single-parent households are just as happy as children raised in two-parent families.

The fact is that life as a single parent is more difficult than raising kids as part of a two-parent family. However, the good news is that there are little things that you can do to make life as a single parent easier (and more enjoyable).

Don’t be afraid to ask for help
A lot of single parents don’t like asking for help, as it makes them feel as if they have failed. However, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help – asking for help doesn’t mean that you’ve failed, it simply means that you recognise that you can’t do everything by yourself. Whether this means asking your ex-partner for more help, getting your child’s grandparents to watch them more often, or hiring help, it doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you ask for help when you need it, as by doing so you can ensure that family life goes more smoothly and is less stressful.

Fit your work around your family
When you’re a single parent, you have to be there for your children whenever they need you. This can make having a career a little difficult, as you need to be able to work your job around your children’s schedule. The key to making it easier to work around your family is to find a job that you can schedule around family life, so that you don’t have to stress about school drop offs and pick ups or who is going to watch your kids during the school holidays. The best career options for single parents are freelance ones, as usually, freelancers can work as and when they want to. If you aren’t able to work on a freelance basis, then the best thing to do is talk to your boss about fitting your work around your family. Take a deep breath and ask your boss for more flexibility with how you work – the chances are that they won’t have a problem with this, so don’t stress about it.

Be financially savvy
One of the biggest worries that single parents face is a lack of money. When you and your children are living on just one income, it can be difficult making ends meet. You might get child support from your children’s father, or you may not, either way bringing up kids on one income is no easy task. That being said, it is doable – millions of parents across the country are doing it. The best piece of advice for managing your money when you are a single parent is to budget every last penny, to ensure that you are able to cover the cost of all the bills each month. Of course, sometimes unexpected costs pop up – things that you had no idea you would need to pay, which can throw a spanner in the works. Whether your car has broken down, your boiler has started leaking, or your child needs new school uniform, unexpected costs can cause financial havoc. However, if you’re smart about how you deal with these kinds of issues, they don’t have to be a big deal. If you can’t cover the cost of something right now, consider taking out a loan. Don’t worry if your credit score is low as you can get personal loans even with poor credit. Or, if you don’t want to take out a loan from a money lending company, what about asking a friend or family member instead? The key to being financially stable when raising kids solo is not burying your head in the sand and dealing with any financial issues quickly and effectively.

Find role models for your kids
Don’t obsess over the fact that your children’s dad doesn’t visit. The fact is that you can blame yourself all you like, but if your children’s dad doesn’t want to see them, that’s down to him. While you can’t make him visit, what you can do is find good role models for your kids. If your children’s father isn’t in the picture, it’s important to show them that there are good men around. If their dad isn’t around to show them how a man should behave, find a role model who can. Perhaps you could find ways to get your brother or father to be more involved in your kid’s lives? Maybe you could ask a male friend to do more with your little ones? It doesn’t matter who the role model is that your kids have, just as long as they have a male role model in their lives.

Life as a single parent is never going to be easy, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be good. Life as a single parent can be enjoyable; it’s just a case of learning how to make solo parenting work for you.