How To Raise An Optimistic Child*

You may have an idea of an optimist being a perpetually happy, non-stop smiley individual who never seems to have an off day, and that’s just simply not the case. Optimists still get sad, they still have to deal with adversity, they still have moments when they don’t feel their best. The difference between an optimist and a pessimist is that the optimist will always try to remain hopeful about the future, even when life is giving them lemons. Some people are born optimists, and for others it takes a little practice, but everyone can become more optimistic over time with a little bit of effort. To help your child discover their glass-half-full self, take a look at the following advice from an independent school in Wiltshire.

Take Note of The Good Stuff

Our brains are wired to notice the bad things that happen, it’s known as ‘negative-bias’. There’s a good reason for this too, it helps us spot danger and reminds us to avoid things that have caused us harm in the past. This is really useful to stop us burning our hand on the stove, or to get us ready to run if an angry bull has decided to ruin the family walk in the countryside, but can sometimes cause us to feel negative or anxious in moments when we aren’t actually in danger. Because our brains work in this way, we must put in some work to keep our positivity in check and be mindful to notice the good things around us too. Try and frame your conversations with your child in a way that actively seeks out positivity, asking things like “did you have a good day at Grandma’s, what was the best thing that happened today?” The more we practice seeking out the positives, the more positive things we start to notice.

Keep Complaining in Check

Complaining is normal, perhaps even healthy to a certain extent. It helps us express emotions and find validation when things aren’t going to plan. However, excessive complaining can become habitual and lead to a negative mindset. Constantly complaining in front of your children is likely to rub off on them too. Try to minimise the amount of negative talk your child is exposed to, and make a conscious effort to try and talk about the silver lining when problems arise. This practice will improve your own optimism as well as your childs. Equally, if you find your child is excessively negative, make sure you challenge their thoughts and remind them of the reasons they have to be grateful. A negative mindset can be blinkering, shielding us from noticing the many positives in our lives, but a gentle reminder can help to change our perspective.